Wonderfully described definitions

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

COMPROMISE: 
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece


TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY"
A place where divorce comes before marriage

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on


SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do


COMMITTEE:
Individual who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes

PHILOSOPHER
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead


DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look   forward to the trip
OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"


MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!


BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early


POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later
DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills.