Gangnam style - The most watched viral video on the planet

A hugely popular video and currently a rage among youngsters and elders alike is gearing towards the most watched viral video on the planet. It has been predicted that in all likely hood, the South Korean singer PSY's viral video Gangnam Style will hit 1 Billion views on youtube by the end of 2012, a feet that has never been achieved by any artists. Channelmeter a popular site that tracks viewing statistics of youtube videos, predicts that Gangnam Style's viewership will surpass that of Justin Bieber's hit video 'Baby'. 

One may be wondering as to what is the secret of success of this particular song and its accompanying video? Firstly let us analyze the video in a little more details. 

Here is the synopsis of the video. PSY is lounging at what looks like a sandy beach, but the camera zooms out to reveal he is actually at a playground. The video alternates between the playground, where a boy dances next to him, and a row of horses in stalls, where PSY performs his signature "invisible horse dance". PSY is shown horse-dancing on the roof of the ASEM Tower before the camera zooms out to reveal the Trade Tower in the background. As PSY (and two girls) walk through a parking garage, they are pelted by pieces of newspaper, trash, and snow. At a sauna, he rests his head on a man's shoulder, while another man covered in tattoos is stretching. He sings in front of two men playing chess, dances with a woman at a tennis court, and bounces around on a tour bus of seniors. The scenes alternate quickly until there is an explosion at the chess players. PSY walks towards the camera, exclaiming "Oppan Gangnam style". He and some dancers perform at a horse stable. He dances as two women walk backwards. He dances at the tennis court, a carousel, and the tour bus. He shuffles into an outdoor yoga session. He dances on a boat. The camera zooms on a woman's buttock, then shows PSY "yelling" at it.

At a parking lot, PSY is approached by a man with a red Mercedes-Benz SLK and a yellow suit; they have a dance duel. He then appears in an elevator underneath a man who is straddling him and thrusting his pelvis. The man in the yellow suit gets in his car and leaves. In a subway cabin, he notices an attractive young woman dancing. At one of the train stops, he approaches the girl in slow motion, and she does the same. Both scenes alternate quickly till they start to embrace. He then tells the girl "Oppan Gangnam style", and they horse dance along with some others at the train stop. He also surfaces from a spa and horse dance across a pedestrian crossing.

PSY sings to the girl at a night club as people in all sorts of costumes walk behind them. He raps "seriously" in an enclosed space, but when the camera zooms out, he is actually sitting on a toilet with his pants down. PSY and a large group of dancers do the horse dance and strike a final pose. After some additional footage of the dance duel, PSY says, "Oppan Gangnam style", and the video finishes with a cartoon graphic.

The video has enough ingredients to keep you hooked. You can't help but sit and enjoy the video over and over again. It is guaranteed to put a smile on your face. Call it goofy, wacky or even vulgar. Endorsements from prominent figures like the UN secretary-general Ban Ki-Moon, British Prime minister David Cameron and Google's executive chairman Eric Schmidt are no mean feet and tremendously helped further popularize the song. 

"Gangnam Style" is a Korean neologism that refers to a lifestyle associated with the Gangnam district of Seoul, where people are trendy, hip and exude a certain supposed "class". The term was listed in Time's weekly vocabulary list as a manner associated with lavish lifestyles in Seoul's Gangnam district. PSY likened the Gangnam District to Beverly Hills, California, and said in an interview that he intended a twisted sense of humor by claiming himself to be "Gangnam Style" when everything about the song, dance, looks, and the music video is far from being high class.

People who are actually from Gangnam never proclaim that they are—it's only the posers and wannabes that put on these airs and say that they are "Gangnam Style"—so this song is actually poking fun at those kinds of people who are trying so hard to be something that they're not.

—PSY

The song talks about "the perfect girlfriend who knows when to be refined and when to get wild." 

As for the genre of the song itself, it has been said that the song is a fusion of LMFAO's synth based party music and Ricky Martin's Latin dance music with some South Korean charm thrown in. The outcome is a lethal combination of absolute music madness.

Whe cares if the dance moves are goofy, the music video is far from being standard and song's genre is a combination of several artists' work you have heard in the past. None of them matter as long as it gives sheer fun for nearly 5 minutes. Isn't that all of us need?

So put your worries aside and make some dance moves in Gangnam style!

Kingfisher airlines - What went wrong with the king of good times?

King fisher brand has always been synonymous with good times or so what we thought. As the Directorate General of Civil Aviation (DGCA) announced the suspension of flying license of Kingfisher Airlines on 20 October 2012, seven years after it commenced operation, the already financially crippled airline came to an abrupt halt.

The  good times can not last for ever. Can it? Once voted the best carrier in India, the business model of Kingfisher Airlines was always a recipe for disaster. At least that is what the media reports. Its flamboyant owner Vijay Mallya has been the target of media bashing ever since troubles surfaced in Kingfisher airlines.

KFA was an airline for people with a taste for luxury.  Fliers were treated to expensive wine, quality food and best entertainment facilities even on domestic flights. The airline staff were the best paid in the country until they stopped receiving their salaries from early 2012.

If everything about the airlines is so good, what could have gone wrong? Mr. Mallya wanted every one to have a good time. There is nothing wrong with that. Well, it would have been ok if the money splurged was from his own pocket. He borrowed money from the banks. The airline has never made profits to sustain in the business. No body is going to give Mr. Mallya a blank check to splurge forever. The airline’s in-flight service standards were set too high to maintain for a long time which made it out of bounds of the country’s biggest consumer section , the middle class.

When the going gets tough, the tough goes partying. Mallya, an industrialist and a liquor baron known for his flashy lifestyle and lavish parties,  is away jet setting in his private jet.  KFA is saddled with a loss of Rs.8,000 crore and a debt burden of another Rs.7,524 crore, a large part of which it has not paid since January. It was declared a non-performing asset (NPA) by bankers earlier this year. Kingfisher's lenders include banks such as SBI (State Bank of India), Bank of India, Punjab National Bank, IDBI to name a few.

Every individual is plagued by hard times, but how one goes about it is a matter of one’s position in the society. We begin with the aam admi who are identified as the ones who do their grocery shopping with ration cards instead of visa cards. These modest, hardworking people pray that they should be blessed to earn enough money to afford two square meals. Then you might belong to the class who constantly wail about their back-breaking work schedules, spend most of the days in a cubicle. These hard-working but not always modest people pray solemnly before an idol with several incense sticks: each stick denoting a 1000 rupee increment in their salaries. Next in line are the Page 3 elites whose idea of a prayer is to brainwash the Gods to take their side by offering golden doors to guard them at night in exchange of financial blessings. No wonder the incense sticks always take a back seat in front of god.

That is exactly what Vijay Mallya did recently to wave off his financial problems. His latest offering to god is a 2 kg gold-plated door for a temple of Lord Subrahmanya at a cost of a whopping Rs 80 lakhs.

After a bit of deliberation, one does feel regretful for Vijay Mallya. He had such a fine thing going. He was raking in billions from the liquor industry. And then he was an unfortunate victim of the ‘aviation virus’, infected by the bug that once bit Richard Branson of Virgin Atlantic. And then he met the perpetually unlucky Capt. G.R Gopinath. Anything Capt. G.R. Gopinath touches turns to dust. He palmed off his worthless Deccan Airways to Vijay Mallya.

Things took a new turn when Vijay Mallya squandered away some more money to buy IPL Cricket team called Royal Challengers. Whatever liquidity was remaining was sucked up by the IPL cricket team. Whatever money Vijay Mallya made out of the liquor business snatched away by Kingfisher and Royal Challengers.

But what is more worrying is that Vijay Mallya has become an “inspiration” for other businessmen as well and let to their ruin as well. The latest casualty is T. Venkattaram Reddy, who was such a successfull and sober businessman, who created the Deccan Chronicle empire. However, after he was bitten by the “Vijay Mallya bug”, and splurged millions on the “Deccan Chargers”, a motley team of cricketers. Money which ought to have been spent on expansion plan for Deccan Chronicle was spent on having late night parties with celebrities. To make matters worse, T. Venkattram Reddy even splurged money on an aviation company called Aviotech, a chartered flight service.

Well, the predictable happend. To tide over his liqudity problems, T. Venkattram Reddy allegedly committed fraud and forged share transfer documents, meant for pledging with the lenders. Lenders of Deccan such as Axis Bank, ICICI Bank, Canara Bank, Corporation Bank and Yes Bank stare at the spectre of losing a substantial part of their lending (as high as Rs 4000 Crores).

So what is next for Vijay Mallya and Kingfisher airlines? Would raising a few thousand crores rupees salvage the flawed business model?  A foreign partner taking a stake in the airline may not help matter much either unless the business model is overhauled. Kingfisher needs an able leader to fly the airlines and unfortunately that able leader is not Vijay Mallya.

The rise and fall of Nokia

Unless you have been living in a cave, chances are you would have used one of the above phones manufactured by Nokia.

Not so long ago, the 13-note ringtone of a Nokia handset was the de facto soundtrack of the mobile revolution. The world's largest cell phone maker for more than a decade, the company was a leading innovator in both design and technology that helped bring wireless life to the world.

Before it became a dominant player in mobile, Nokia was a shapeless conglomerate that had manufactured everything from paper pulp to rubber boots to cables. In the 1980s, its CEO decided to try and latch onto the boom in consumer electronics, including handsets, which led it to team up with a pair of Finnish telecoms on an undertaking that would change its fortunes, as well as the future of the cellular industry. 

That project was the first digital telecommunications network, known as the GSM. At the time, Europe was dominated by a balkanized mess of analog mobile networks that varied country to country. This setup presented a logistical nightmare for companies in the business of making phones, which would have to build different models to meet the specifications of each individual market. As far back as 1982, engineers had been trying unsuccessfully to unify the continent under a single system. Nokia and its partners managed to get the network up and running in Finland by 1991. That year, the country's prime minister used a Nokia phone to place the first ever call on a commercial GSM Network. 

GSM took off -- not only all over Europe but also in Asia, Latin America, and elsewhere.

All of this might just sound like neat history for tech nerds. But the change to digital had profound impact on phone technology. Perhaps most importantly: It enabled text messaging. Because Nokia had invested so much money and research into digital networks, it was ready to dominate markets where it was adopted. By 1998, Nokia was the leading handset maker in the world, with more than 22 percent of the global marketplace. It would peak at around 40 percent in 2008. 

Nokia won by offering customers phones that were more advanced and better dressed than their competition's. Unfortunately for them, they weren't ready to do the same when it came time for the next transformation of the mobile industry -- when Apple convinced customers they should all carry small computers in their pockets instead of boring handsets. 

It's tempting to try and characterize Nokia's failure as a classic instance  of the "innovators dilemma" -- the theory that path-breaking companies often focus so hard on protecting the market which made them successful that they miss the next big thing that will disrupt the market. And to some degree, Nokia was guilty of sitting on its laurels. For instance, it missed out on the flip phone trend that helped revive Motorola's fortune early in the aughts. But it wasn't late to the smart phone game. As early as 1998, the company was talking about "putting the internet in every pocket." And in 2007, the year Steve Jobs unleashed the iPhone on the world, Nokia fans lined up outside stores to buy the company's new N95 smart phone. 

The execution simply wasn't there. The design wasn't as appealing to shoppers. The operating system, Symbian, was clunky. Apple got the formula right, creating a phone that not only doubled as a fashion accessory, but also became the defining consumer item of its age. Samsung followed suit with its hot-selling Droid-powered models. Nokia, in turn, focused more and more on selling commoditized phones in developing countries, which increased their market share, but did little to improve their long-term outlook as more of the world embraced iPhone-style devices. 

Nokia's Lumia 900, which runs on Microsoft's Window's 7 mobile operating system, seems to have recaptured that combination of elegant function and design that once defined their best products. But sales have been slow, and it may not be enough to save the company from its immediate problems.

Can Nokia ever bounce back again? Some analysts believe yes.  Windows mobile operating system is projected to expand in market share more than any other. The Android system from Google is expected to decline the most. Samsung is reported to be looking at the Blackberry 10 from Research-in-Motion. Even with the manifold weakness of RIM, Samsung needs to look beyond the Android particularly after its recent loss in the Apple v  Samsung court case.

The table below lays out the findings from the research of the International Data Corporation

Worldwide Smartphone OS Market Data

Smartphone OS	2012 Market Share	2016 Market Share	2012 - 2016 CAGR
Android	61.0%	52.9%	9.5%
Windows Phone 7/Windows Mobile	5.2%	19.2%	46.2%
iOS	20.5%	19.0%	10.9%
BlackBerry OS	6.0%	5.9%	12.1%
Others	7.2%	3.0%	-5.4%
Total	100.0%	100.0%	12.7%

Secondly, Nokia still sells the second most mobile phones in the world.  Nokia feature phones sales are still very desirable in countries such as India and Indonesia.

Lastly, it is easier for companies at the lower levels of a sector to move up with new products than it is for the elite to begin to offer stripped-down versions at cheaper prices to the masses. The car industry demonstrates this: Toyota started off selling economical cars before introducing the Lexus. The same with Volkswagen. But efforts by BMW, Mercedes etc to sell cheaper models to a broader class of consumers have all flopped. It should be easier for Nokia to sell more advanced smartphones than it will be for Apple to market a low cost version of the iPhone, if it would even choose to go that route.

Will you ever buy a Nokia phone again? Who knows? Many mobile makers disappeared from the market as fast as they appeared. But Nokia stood the test of time. Nokia synonymous with popularity still stand a chance to stay afloat much longer.

Barfi - Hindi movie review

Writer/Director Anurag Basu gives us a visual treat with his latest offering Barfi. The movie depicts love through the emotional expressions of its lead characters. It has plenty of goofiness, pranks, moments of laughter,

Set in Darjeeling in the ’70s, the film is essentially about Barfi’s (Ranbir Kapur) relationship with the two women in his life – Shruti (Ileana D’Cruz) and an autistic Jhilmil (Priyanka Chopra). Shruti falls to parental pressure to marry a ‘normal’ man, but cannot come to terms with the fact that she is still in love with Barfi.  The film revolves around a series of events in which all three characters discover what love really is. The movie unfolds through the eyes of the various characters whose life has been touched by Barfi, and there is enough mystery in the story to keep you hooked.

Most of the dialogues come in the form of narration, but the scenes are so beautifully crafted that you don’t really miss the dialogues at all. Anurag Basu has put his heart and soul into the film. The Chaplinesque humour is refreshing, and the situational comedy is adorable and entertaining.

Ranbir Kapoor is a pure joy to watch. He has proved yet again that he is a force to reckon with. You can not imagine anyone else but Ranbir who could have pulled such a brilliant act. Priyanka’s de-glamourised role as an autistic girl is very convincing. Hats off to Priyanka for her brilliant performance. Ileana who has more screen space than Priyanka also did an excellent job. Though her character delivers minimal dialogues in the movie, she is very expressive.

There are moments of sheer joy on certain scenes. In a certain scene the release of water bubbles that envelopes fire flies, a drawing on a canvas initially fools you to think Barfi does the drawing on the canvas, Barfi’s goofy act with a stuffed dummy to name a few.

The other highlight of the movie is the music by Pritam. Pritam has composed one of the best soundtrack of his career. The song titled “Aashiyan” leads the pack.

Barfi  is a breath of fresh air in an otherwise repetitive masala plots often seen in Hindi movies. The movie is crafted well and it is a cinematic treat. One must appreciate the courage for chosing a plot that revolves around a speech and hearing impaired lead character paired with an autistic female. There are minimal dialogues in the movie but it has enough ingredients to keep the audience engaged thoroughly.

Highly recommended.

Emerging Kerala - The future is emerging

3 days, 45 specific project proposals, 4676 participants, attracting investments worth over Rs 40,000 crores (USD 7.3 Billion). Kerala which lagged in terms of development among the southern states is finally emerging.  With the NRK  (Non-Resident Keralites) heavy weights like M.A Yusuffali (EMKE Lulu group), Azad Mooppan (Dubai based DM Healthcare), Alungal Muhammed (Saudi based Al Jabeer group), KE Faizal (KEF group) and Ravi Pillai (RP group) chipping in investments worth between Rs 15,000 to 20,000 crores,  the support received for the effort by the UDF led state government speaks volume.

Would Emerging Kerala be any different from the failed Global Investment Meet (GIM) back in 2003 which attracted roughly around Rs 20,000 crore worth of projects and almost none of them really took off?

GIM failed because of the lack of enthusiasm from prospective investors. The state could not succeed in building confidence both from the state and outside.

Kerala always had a notorious tag of being a business unfriendly state. The major hurdle to the development of Kerala is the popular outlook towards development. People are not concerned about real issues. The state lacked leadership, vision and proper planning. The political climate swinging in favor of both LDF and UDF did not help matter much either. The large scale migration of Keralites and their remittances helped the survival of Kerala economy and present boom of consumerism.

Kerala is a typical example of a state where politics ruined its economy, its work culture, its public sector and above all the confidence of the people. In spite of its educated human resources, Kerala missed three great revolutions.  i.e. the agricultural, industrial and electornics & IT revolutions that took place in the neighbouring state of Tamilnadu and Karnataka. It is paradoxical that our neighboring states  advanced under progressive leadership, Kerala perished with a “progressive and revolutionary” ideology.

Having said that emerging Kerala initiative is a positive step towards taking the state to a progressive path provided it did not face the same fate as the Global Investment efforts made back in 2003. Political stability and proper leadership coupled with right policy planning and fast decision making would bring back investors and keep them rooted here.

The potential is immense and success of these and more such efforts are paramount to the long term future of the state and its people. Let us hope that these efforts lay foundation for the rise of Kerala and help facilitate the home coming of the next generation of Kerala diaspora if not the current generation.

Kerala in a league of its own

In a highly significant political development, which could alter the contours of Kerala politics, the Nair Service Society (NSS) and the Sree Narayana Dharma Paripalana (SNDP) Yogam have decided to bury the hatchet and up the ante against the Congress-led United Front (UDF) Government in the state.

The hardening of the NSS and SNDP stance is a direct sequel to the Oommen Chandy government’s policy of unabashed minority appeasement and total surrender to the Indian Union Muslim League (IUML), the second largest constituent of the UDF, in policy matters.

The latest manifestation of their anger against the government  came in the Neyyattinkara by-election , which saw an astounding  five-fold increase in the vote share of the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) – from a mere 6000 odd votes in the 2011 state assembly elections to over 30,000 votes in the by-election. A clear mandate by the voters to the ruling government.

To put things in prespective a little background. Panakkad is an obscure village deep in the bowels of Malappuram, Kerala’s only Muslim-majority district. In September, Kerala state government will showcase 22 proposed projects here, totalling an investment of Rs 2,000 crores. Reason? Panakkad houses the most prominent spiritual leaders of Kerala’s Muslims and that is where the president of the Muslim league hails from.

League an ally in the ruling United Democratic Front(UDF)  who holds 20 seats in the Kerala assembly, and excercises almost total control over Kerala’s Muslims, the state’s second largest community with 25% of the population. Empowered by the community’s economic and demographic growth, the League has grown steadily in strength. Muslims are the largest beneficiaries of foreign remittances, that totalled Rs 50,000 crores in 2011 according to a study, sent by its two-million strong diaspora in the Gulf. According to the 2001 census, while Hindu and Christian populations showed a decline, by 1.48 per cent and 0.32 per cent respectively, the Muslim population went up by 1.7 per cent.

League has wrested several privileges from the present government: Five cabinet berths, free land in the Calicut University campus, special privileges for Muslim management schools, and Muslims recruited to raise awareness about little known minority scholarships in the community. Chief Minister Oommen Chandy has faced much flak from all around-including his own party-for succumbing to the League’s pressures. Keeping their differences apart, the Nair Service Society (NSS) which represents Kerala’s 14 per cent upper caste Nairs, and Sree Narayana Dharma Paripalana Yogam (SNDP), which represents the state’s largest Hindu block of 24 per cent of Other Backward Caste (OBC) Ezhavas, have decided to jointly fight this ‘appeasement’.

While NSS general secretary G. Sukumaran Nair and SNDP general secretary Vellappalli Natesan are up in arms against the government, many groups within Kerala’s prosperous Christian community are also peeved at what they say is a Muslim monopoly of privileges meant for both minorities.

There are critics in the league within Muslims too. New Muslim organisations such as Popular Front of India (PFI) and Jamaat-e-Eslami which the League calls “extremists”  are weaning young men from them and eroding their claim as the sole representative of Muslims.

But why is there a new consolidation on caste and religious lines? Many blame it on “appeasement” by political parties. Both Congress and Left now choose candidates by caste and religion. Many cites the growth of a “parasitic” middleclass, that shows all signs of modernity but has a feudal mindset.

Interestingly NSS and SNDP have always had differences about reservation. Both the organizations have vowed that they will not ally with BJP who could not find a foothold in the state. It is also worth noting that neither of the community had any legacy to claim for the development of the state. How many would recall, in order to enter politics the NSS briefly formed National Democratic Party in the1970s and not to be left out, in 1972 SNDP formed the Social Revolutionary Party. Sadly, neither parties could make an impact in the Kerala political front.

Many view that owing to contradictions within the communities, the consoldiation will soon collapse. Just as the moderate League and the militant PFI will not be together, Nairs and Ezhavas will fall out over reservations. Let us wait and watch.

Kerala, a land of boozers?

As Kerala awaits anxiously to welcome the festive season of Onam, tipplers in the state are queuing up at the state owned Beverages corporation to break another record in the consumption of alcohol. Any occasion in Kerala is an occasion for booze. Be it a wedding, a funeral or any social gathering.

In a state of 3.3 crore people, Keralites gulped down a whopping Rs 7,860 crores (US$ 1.4 Billion) worth of alcohol in the fiscal year ending Mar 2012.

Welcome to boozer’s own country. 

The state government holds a monopoly over liquor sale in the state, after the state banned foreign liquor shops, through the government owned.

The government applies the highest state tax on liquor (around 120%). This earns it high revenues. It has the highest per capita consumption in the nation, overtaking traditionally hard-drinking states like Punjab and Haryana. Also, in a strange twist of taste, rum and brandy are the preferred drink in Kerala in a country where whisky outsells every other liquor. Alcohol helps in giving Kerala's economy a good high - shockingly, more than 40% of revenues for its annual budget come from liquor sales.

That's not all. There are some 600 privately run bars in the state and more than 5,000 shops selling toddy (palm wine), the local brew. There is also a thriving black market liquor trade.

The young men in kerala are drowning in alcohol and inviting slow death. They are in hospitals, ravaged with pancreatitis and liver diseases. In the peak of life, they are battling alcohol withdrawal syndromes in de-addiction centres. Meanwhile their parents drown in tears, their wives struggle to keep afloat and children are adrift.

Amost 95 per cent of vehicular accidents involve people who are driving after having consumed alcohol in some form or the other. And these do not happen only in the night. Alcohol-related accidents have no time of the day now, as the crowd throughout the day outside any beverages outlet will show. Alcohol has replaced water and tea as the favourite drink of Keralites.

In an attempt to curtail the menace, The Kerala high court suggested recently that sale of liquor should be allowed only after 5pm. Would the government listen to this and take appropriate steps? Would Kerala ever welcome king mahabali in a sober state?

Time to celebrate this independence day

For a country with a population of about 1.2 Billion people, half-dozen medals won in the London Olympics may not be a tall feet by any standards. However the 6 medals represent India’s best ever result on the biggest sporting stage in the world. The fact that the country had won just seven individual medals in the Olympics since Independence should help put the latest achievement in perspective. The absence of a gold medal, in contrast to the Beijing effort, is certainly a dampener and so too the overall slide in the medals ranking from 50 to 55. For a country with an annual sports budget of just over Rs 721 crore, where bureaucrats and sports administrators test the endurance of athletes even before they qualify for the Olympics, the London show should be considered encouraging even if it failed to live up to the hype created by over-ambitious official agencies and fanned by the media.

While Indians may not come close to the achievements of  U.S. swimmer Michael Phelps’s all-time record Olympic medal haul of 22 and Usain Bolt’s unmatched brilliance in the sprints where he completed a back-to-back sweep of three gold medals,  going forward, India has the potential to win gold medals in the fields of archery, boxing, shooting and hockey.

Indian medal winners — Gagan Narang, Vijay Kumar, Saina Nehwal, Mary Kom, Yogeshwar Dutt and Sushil Kumar — deserve all the accolades, including substantial cash awards that have been announced. That the country plunged to an all-time low in hockey is a matter of shame and no time should be lost by the goverment in overhauling the faction-ridden administration or in preparing a blueprint for the grassroots-level development of the game.

On this independence day let us cheer for our Olympic medal winners and hope that a lot more will be achieved in the years to come. Let us also use this opportunity to salute again the achievement of Abhinav Bindra, the only individual Indian to ever win a gold medal in Olympics.

Wonderfully described definitions

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

COMPROMISE: 
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece


TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY"
A place where divorce comes before marriage

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on


SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do


COMMITTEE:
Individual who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes

PHILOSOPHER
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead


DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look   forward to the trip
OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"


MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!


BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early


POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later
DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills.